Patricia Ann Bethard

Patricia Ann Bethard was born on Thanksgiving Day, November 22, 1945 to a very devout Catholic family. In school, Pat played basketball in 7th and 8th grades. She also played tennis and bowled. She attended Little Flower High School, and played the trombone in the high school orchestra, being lead trombonist her senior year. Pat excelled in her secreterial courses, and got a position as a stenographer and typist with the Small Business Administration after her high school graduation. From there she went to Internal Revenue Service for about 2-3 years, but she left IRS to join the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament around 1968 or 1969. However, she left the Sisters to help care for her mother and sister. Eventually, Pat left Philly and traveled across the country. She lived in San Francisco for a brief period, then she settled in Seattle. Pat found a position with Seattle University as an event planner, and also became very active in politics. She loved politics so much that she ran for a city council position against Sam Smith in 1975 as a Socialist Worker's Party candidate. She did so well that in 1976 she ran for Govenor against John Spellman and Dixy Lee Ray. Carol Detweiler was Pat's boss at the time. Carol was quoted by Pat as saying, "Well, I never had a secretary who ran for governor" when Pat announced her candidacy at her lunch break. When Pat came back to the office, there was red, white and blue bunting all over the office and signs that read, "Bat for Pat.” In 1981, Pat was still working at the UW and reporting to Carol Detweiler. Carol gave Pat a wake-up call in the form of an ultimatum. Pat recognized it as such, and started a life of sobriety when she began attending the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, Woman's Place, in Seattle. Her “real” or AA birthday was August 14, 1981. From that time, she strived to practice the twelve-step principles in all her affairs. After becoming sober, Pat tried again to become a nun. She joined the Domican's in Edmonds – and became a novitiate. She took her first vows – and left after that. She said when she saw what happened to Archbishop Hunthausen of Seattle, who was criticized by Pope John Paul II for not being adamantly adverse to all gay rights. Pat then realized that Rome was just too close – becoming a nun simply was not a good fit for someone who had such passion for women's rights, GLBT issues, and peace. But the real clincher was that Pat met Kristen Parman. Their first kiss was in front of the convent when Kristen dropped her off after a date touring Gig Harbor. In late 1988, Pat and Kristen held a commitment ceremony. Pat also joined Findlay Street Christian Church in 1988. Her own exploration of addiction led her to study and work in the addictions treatment discipline. In 1986, Pat accepted a position as the Involuntary Commitment specialist for Alcohol with Snohomish County. She received a degree from Seattle University in Addiction Studies in 1987. Pat then worked for King County in late 1989-1994 for the Street Outreach Program (condoms and needle exchange) program and was known as "The Rubber Lady." Her commitment to addiction treatment and outreach continued, and Pat obtained her MSW from U of W in 1994. Pat then moved to Tucson, Arizona where she worked for Pima County Street Outreach and then Jewish Family Services. In 1995, Pat and Kristen returned to Seattle in order to support Tracy after the birth of Chai. Her last job was with the Downtown Emergency Services Center (DESC) in Seattle. She retired from that position just a few years ago. Upon returning to Seattle in 1995, Pat again joined Findlay Street Christian church but began exploring her interest in religions beyond Christianity. This brought her to Saltwater Unitarian Universalist Church in 2001. Pat served on the Board of Saltwater UU Church, including as the Board President. During this time, she was very active in the church. Pat helped establish the addictions ministry, encouraged an awareness of native American spiritual practices, fostered the move toward becoming a GLBT welcoming congregation, and promoted the development of the Covenant of Right Relations. Pat legally changed her name to Pat Parman-Bethard, and married Kristen in Oregon in 2004. Pat helped raise Kristen's daughter, Tracy, and Tracy’s many accomplishments in life were always a source of pride and joy for Pat. She was crazy about Tracy’s 2 children, Chai and Solomon, and loved being their grandmother. Pat and Kristen separated a few years ago, but remained friends. In 2011, Pat kept contact with her many friends, including her Saltwater crowd. She also reconnected with her minister and friends from the Findlay Street Christian Church. Both of her ministers (James Kubal-Komoto and Joan Dennehy) were with her on the day that she died. Her dear friend Susan Aigner saw her the prior day, and long-time friend Liz Lang was with her when she died. In fact, Liz and Joan sang to her, including Irish songs. Pat left us knowing that she was loved, and that her life mattered. Pat is also survived by her biological family – her sister, Barbara A Schell, brother-in-law Thomas G Schell, and their three children: Michael Schell, Gregory Schell, and Kathleen Bevenour, (husband Patrick, their son John Patrick, and daughter Mary Claire), one aunt, Margaret O'Connor, and nine cousins and their families. We will miss her wonderful sense of humor and the most fantastic laugh many of us have ever heard. We knew her as a woman with a heart of gold. She was a dear, trusted, and true friend. Pat was always honest in her dealings with everyone and gave much to all who knew her. Pat is described as having had the quintessential Irish spirit that kept her going - as she had many obstacles to overcome in her life. Friends are invited to attend a celebration of her life on Saturday, November 19, 2011 at 3:00 p.m., at the Saltwater Unitarian Universalist Church, located at 25701 14th Place South in Des Moines, WA 98198. The church website is: http://www.saltwaterchurch.org, where close friends may also volunteer to assist with the service and reception. Both of Pat’s ministers, James Kubal-Komoto and Joan Dennehy, will officiate. Pat’s ashes will be spread in the memorial garden.