Richard Oarr

“Imma let you go.” Rich’s indication that he was done with our conversation! I will miss our late night calls about everything under the sun, or more appropriately, under the moon. We discussed the meaning of life, our families, Anne’s gardening bounties and her bells, his Maryland basketball games with Judith, and even politics! THE ongoing beard debate, to trim or not to trim, adventures with his bestie, Craig, and his oh so many ski trips usually took top billing. It took great pleasure in teasing him about his disdain for all things beach related!!! We broke bread & sipped our way through Alexandria and Baltimore…great times, yet always mindful of his infamous nap time. When I moved away, our calls became even more important. We always had a great laugh recalling the first time we met in Old Town. As per usual, I was running late. So, I called Rich and asked him to order a glass of my then favorite red wine because I was “almost” there. However, in my mad rush I left the top down. We sipped and savored over great conversation and laughter only to discover it had rained!!! My car was soaked and Rich tried desperately to hold back his laughter to express “concern.” It didn’t work. We doubled over in laughter. Who knew that was the beginning of a friendship of a lifetime. I can’t take credit for it but six months later he had a convertible. Below is the only picture Rich, a little bit of Craig and me. It’s only fitting the last time the three of us were together, last month, Craig & I got kicked out for bending the visiting hour rules. I miss you already but find a bit of comfort in knowing you are freer than ever. I must believe you’ve found the most majestic of ski slopes. Rich, your memory shall be eternal! Now, it’s my turn to say, ‘Imma let you go.’

“Imma let you go.” Rich’s indication that he was done with our conversation! I will miss our late night calls about everything under the sun, or more appropriately, under the moon. We discussed the meaning of life, our families, Anne’s gardening bounties and her bells, his Maryland basketball games with Judith, and even politics! THE ongoing beard debate, to trim or not to trim, adventures with his bestie, Craig, and his oh so many ski trips usually took top billing. It took great pleasure in teasing him about his disdain for all things beach related!!! We broke bread & sipped our way through Alexandria and Baltimore…great times, yet always mindful of his infamous nap time. When I moved away, our calls became even more important. We always had a great laugh recalling the first time we met in Old Town. As per usual, I was running late. So, I called Rich and asked him to order a glass of my then favorite red wine because I was “almost” there. However, in my mad rush I left the top down. We sipped and savored over great conversation and laughter only to discover it had rained!!! My car was soaked and Rich tried desperately to hold back his laughter to express “concern.” It didn’t work. We doubled over in laughter. Who knew that was the beginning of a friendship of a lifetime. I can’t take credit for it but six months later he had a convertible. Below is the only picture Rich, a little bit of Craig and me. It’s only fitting the last time the three of us were together, last month, Craig & I got kicked out for bending the visiting hour rules. I miss you already but find a bit of comfort in knowing you are freer than ever. I must believe you’ve found the most majestic of ski slopes. Rich, your memory shall be eternal! Now, it’s my turn to say, ‘Imma let you go.’

RIP Dick.

RIP Dick.

We were Rich’s friends and neighbors. We spent many years of get togethers on his back deck or our front porch. My dog Angel loved him and we did too. We could always count on Mr. Oarr for a fun time and breakfast at The Four Seasons restaurant on a snow day with our girls. Cheeseburgers all around. Those of you who had snow days with us know what I’m talking about. There’s a-lot more in our hearts but words are hard. We will miss him. Mr. & Mrs C. (As Rich called us.)

We were Rich’s friends and neighbors. We spent many years of get togethers on his back deck or our front porch. My dog Angel loved him and we did too. We could always count on Mr. Oarr for a fun time and breakfast at The Four Seasons restaurant on a snow day with our girls. Cheeseburgers all around. Those of you who had snow days with us know what I’m talking about. There’s a-lot more in our hearts but words are hard. We will miss him. Mr. & Mrs C. (As Rich called us.)

Rich and I met way back in 1988 at the behest of the US Air Force at Castle AFB in California when we both ended up assigned to the 93BMW as 2nd Lieutenants in Military Intelligence. As much as we were like night and day, we were also twin brothers in humor and sarcasm. We hit it off immediately. It helped that we both found the third 2nd Lt at Castle, Noelle Smith, annoying AF. We had a great friendship there for the next three years creating havoc in the junior officer corps and picking on Airmen like Ray Estrada, Susan Henson, and Ron Kline, but also being a constant pain to Sgt Chitwood. One of the other Sgts there referred to us as Lt Fluff and Bluff. Rich met his first wife, Jody, there and I encouraged him to go through with marrying her. While I have to take full responsibility for that error in judgment - he did end up with two beautiful daughters from the marriage, so I can take credit for that as well. I got Rich into running there and we also got a kick out of our lunchtime basketball games beating up in Ray and Ron. Then in early August of 1990, we both got to go to Guam to support Exercise Giant Warrior. My favorite photo of us was taken there on the runway with a B-52 flying by in the background. Two weeks into the exercise, Kuwait got invaded and Rich would fly back to California while I stayed in Guam before getting forward deployed for Desert Shield. Rich had orders to rotate to Germany while I was deployed, so Guam ended up being our goodbye. Later, when I rotated back, I left the Air Force and returned back to the East coast. Rich and I stayed in touch for a little while, but as military friendships often go, we lost touch. A couple of decades later I found myself living in Virginia. Through the grace of social media, we reconnected. Turns out he retired and was working as a defense in Virginia as well. We were able to connect again and rekindle our friendship, replacing Ray and Ron with new friends Annie and Rosslyn. This was also the first opportunity I had to apologize to Rich for getting him roped into his first marriage. In fairness though, he and Jody tried to abduct me into the cult of Amway, so I didn’t feel too bad to hear about his divorce. This is also when I had the opportunity to tell him a secret I had kept about my own marriage and our time at Castle. Folks had assumed, Rich included, that I has divorced my wife of one year (1988-1989) because she cheated on me and had another man’s baby. Truth was that it was a marriage of convenience for me because the Air Force didn’t allow gay men to serve. I had served my 6 year career in silence. Rich never knew. But it’s also the reason for my favorite memory of Rich, and I wasn’t even there when it happened. A few years after we both left California, and Rich was living in Germany, he had the opportunity to run into my ex-wife at a military function at the Officer’s Club (she was an AF officer as well) and he proceeded to verbally berate her and tear her to shreds. How dare she dishonor his good friend Craig by cheating on him. To my ex’s credit, she kept my secret. So I finally came out to Rich when we met up in Virginia in the early 2010’s. To hear Rich tell the story of meeting my ex, brought all the great memories from our time in the military, back. I enjoyed having my best friend from the military back in my life over the past decade and although we had a lot more we intended to do together as friends, I cherished this additional time I had with him as his friend. We had great times at Maryland/Penn State games in College Park and Baltimore and him getting us on the field at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia was the highlight of this Philly Eagle’s fan life. We had a few great pub crawls in DC, Baltimore and Alexandria with both Rosslyn and Annie while his liver was still able. I was so glad when he met Annie and wasn’t surprised when he married her. They were great together. Watching Annie’s strength through these past couple of years should inspire everyone. She was there at his side throughout and gave us all just a little more time with him. Thanks Annie. I’ll miss all his jokes, political discussions, philosophizing, running around Castle AFB, attending sporting events together, dinners with him and Annie and the new friendships he introduced me to with her and Rosslyn, his sarcastic side, his almost childish knack for instigating trouble and most of all a loyal and true friendship that I hope I returned back at least half as much as the one he gave to me. I’ll miss you buddy. Rest in Peace and look forward to racing you again in the afterlife.

Rich and I met way back in 1988 at the behest of the US Air Force at Castle AFB in California when we both ended up assigned to the 93BMW as 2nd Lieutenants in Military Intelligence. As much as we were like night and day, we were also twin brothers in humor and sarcasm. We hit it off immediately. It helped that we both found the third 2nd Lt at Castle, Noelle Smith, annoying AF. We had a great friendship there for the next three years creating havoc in the junior officer corps and picking on Airmen like Ray Estrada, Susan Henson, and Ron Kline, but also being a constant pain to Sgt Chitwood. One of the other Sgts there referred to us as Lt Fluff and Bluff. Rich met his first wife, Jody, there and I encouraged him to go through with marrying her. While I have to take full responsibility for that error in judgment - he did end up with two beautiful daughters from the marriage, so I can take credit for that as well. I got Rich into running there and we also got a kick out of our lunchtime basketball games beating up in Ray and Ron. Then in early August of 1990, we both got to go to Guam to support Exercise Giant Warrior. My favorite photo of us was taken there on the runway with a B-52 flying by in the background. Two weeks into the exercise, Kuwait got invaded and Rich would fly back to California while I stayed in Guam before getting forward deployed for Desert Shield. Rich had orders to rotate to Germany while I was deployed, so Guam ended up being our goodbye. Later, when I rotated back, I left the Air Force and returned back to the East coast. Rich and I stayed in touch for a little while, but as military friendships often go, we lost touch. A couple of decades later I found myself living in Virginia. Through the grace of social media, we reconnected. Turns out he retired and was working as a defense in Virginia as well. We were able to connect again and rekindle our friendship, replacing Ray and Ron with new friends Annie and Rosslyn. This was also the first opportunity I had to apologize to Rich for getting him roped into his first marriage. In fairness though, he and Jody tried to abduct me into the cult of Amway, so I didn’t feel too bad to hear about his divorce. This is also when I had the opportunity to tell him a secret I had kept about my own marriage and our time at Castle. Folks had assumed, Rich included, that I has divorced my wife of one year (1988-1989) because she cheated on me and had another man’s baby. Truth was that it was a marriage of convenience for me because the Air Force didn’t allow gay men to serve. I had served my 6 year career in silence. Rich never knew. But it’s also the reason for my favorite memory of Rich, and I wasn’t even there when it happened. A few years after we both left California, and Rich was living in Germany, he had the opportunity to run into my ex-wife at a military function at the Officer’s Club (she was an AF officer as well) and he proceeded to verbally berate her and tear her to shreds. How dare she dishonor his good friend Craig by cheating on him. To my ex’s credit, she kept my secret. So I finally came out to Rich when we met up in Virginia in the early 2010’s. To hear Rich tell the story of meeting my ex, brought all the great memories from our time in the military, back. I enjoyed having my best friend from the military back in my life over the past decade and although we had a lot more we intended to do together as friends, I cherished this additional time I had with him as his friend. We had great times at Maryland/Penn State games in College Park and Baltimore and him getting us on the field at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia was the highlight of this Philly Eagle’s fan life. We had a few great pub crawls in DC, Baltimore and Alexandria with both Rosslyn and Annie while his liver was still able. I was so glad when he met Annie and wasn’t surprised when he married her. They were great together. Watching Annie’s strength through these past couple of years should inspire everyone. She was there at his side throughout and gave us all just a little more time with him. Thanks Annie. I’ll miss all his jokes, political discussions, philosophizing, running around Castle AFB, attending sporting events together, dinners with him and Annie and the new friendships he introduced me to with her and Rosslyn, his sarcastic side, his almost childish knack for instigating trouble and most of all a loyal and true friendship that I hope I returned back at least half as much as the one he gave to me. I’ll miss you buddy. Rest in Peace and look forward to racing you again in the afterlife.

Great friend in college. He was very kind with a big heart.

Great friend in college. He was very kind with a big heart.