Thomas Wayne Semendoff

On Tuesday, June 18, 2024, beloved son and brother Thomas Wayne Semendoff, passed away prematurely of an accidental death at age 48. 

Thomas was born in 1976, at Victory Memorial Hospital in Brooklyn, NY to Barbara “Cindy” (Hotchkiss) Semendoff. He was the grandson of Harlow Robert “Bob” Hotchkiss and Giovannina “Janet” (D’Anna) Hotchkiss, Abraham Semendoff and Lorraine Mildred (Gallagher) Semendoff. 

He was the great-grandson of Providenza “Nancy” (Sconduto) D’Anna and Gaspare D’Anna, Sarah (Chernova) Semendoff and Gabriel Semendoff, Harlow Harmon Hotchkiss and Leota Luella (Lewis) Hotchkiss, Thomas P. Gallagher and Katherine F. (McNamara) Gallagher. 

Thomas was a lover of all types of animals such as cats, dogs, birds, fish, squirrels, rabbits, ferrets, reptiles, pet-store adopted rats and mice, and all other animals and wildlife in general. Because he lived in an apartment with limited space most of his childhood, rescuing and nurturing small animals was a big part of his and his family’s life when he was younger.

Thomas was also a lover of music. He had a collection of vinyl albums and turntables, and considered becoming a DJ when he was younger. When he was not trying to teach himself how to DJ, he was listening to all types of music, from old school rap, R&B, Pop, to the alternative band R.E.M. on cassette tapes on his boombox. 

Thomas grew up across the street from his maternal grandparents Harlow Robert “Bob” Hotchkiss and Giovannina “Janet” (D’Anna) Hotchkiss, his maternal great-grandmother Providenza “Nancy” (Sconduto) D’Anna, and his maternal aunt Denise and her two sons. Several other aunts, uncles, cousins and extended family lived close by. The 4th of July fireworks block parties, and other holiday and family gatherings throughout the year were always crowded, and full of the rich cultural diversity of his mixed family and community. 

When he was young, Thomas enjoyed hanging out on the stoop in front of his apartment spending time with family, friends, and neighbors. Thomas was very sociable and well-liked by everyone in the community during these years. 

When Thomas and his two older siblings were young, they would spend hours roller-skating and riding bikes up and down the street in Brooklyn, where the family lived. Thomas and his siblings didn’t receive an allowance growing up, so looking for lost change and paper money in the street was a game often played to see how much one could find any given day, so they could buy candy, quarter drinks, licorice and baseball cards with gum, from the corner store or the Turkish grocer around the other corner across the street. The Turkish grocer always had red candy and caramel apples for the kids every Halloween, and he gave out free candy to us kids whenever he could. He was always happy to see us, never annoyed to have urban kids roaming his small store looking for snacks and candy. 

Growing up, Thomas was highly intelligent, but had a challenging time in school due to a late diagnosis of dyslexia. Family and school resources were also limited. He received little support. In elementary school his teacher once had his older sister come to class as a tutor to help him with his assignments (this did not go over well). 

When Thomas was a teenager, he would often have deep conversations with his sister about philosophy, history, books, the news, and the world in general. At that time, he seemed wise and older beyond his years. We watched a lot of old movies, documentaries and historical miniseries, went to tough underfunded schools, read our parent’s and grandparent’s diverse collection of books and medical journals for fun, read their stockpiled National Geographic magazines, and read multiple newspapers regularly, so we grew up faster than other kids our age. 

When Thomas was young, the family did not have cable TV. When he wasn’t playing Pong on the television set with a “rabbit ears” antenna, or playing Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Space Invaders and Frogger on the Atari system, he was watching his favorite shows on the giant wood-panel television set, and movies with the wood-panel lined VHS tape player that was always breaking. The games, movies, shows and programs all had a huge influence on his unique personality and sense of humor. They were his free babysitters, mentors and influencers.

Thomas had a contagious laugh and unique voice that everyone in the community would comment on. He hated the nicknames and teasing, but learned to embrace it. Thomas was obviously different, and playfully weird from most kids back then. You had to be tough where and when we grew up. He learned how to adapt and embrace being different. 

Since Thomas shared a bedroom with his older siblings from infancy to their very early pre-teen years, they always had someone to play with, but there was often a tug of war over sharing space, and playing with toys and games in such a small and crowded room. Three siblings sharing a small bedroom with one Murphy bed, and a twin bed set for so long, definitely humbles and toughens you up for future challenges. 

When Thomas was a teenager, he worked as a server at La Palina Restaurant and Catering Hall in Brooklyn. One year he dressed up as Santa Klaus for the restaurant’s holiday festivities. It was a tough gig and environment, so he only stayed for a short period of time. 

Thomas loved Christmas as much as his siblings, and for several years in a row, when they were very young, the excitement ended with the three of them knocking down the Christmas Tree. The solution was anchoring the tree to the wall, so all three siblings would be able to crowd around and play with the tree without broken bulbs, tears, and the threat of Christmas being cancelled.

If only the adults had remembered to secure and latch the hutch to the base of the China cabinet before the infamous crash and destruction of all the adult’s wedding China and glassware had occurred. Thomas and his siblings were crowding and hiding behind the tall wood China cabinet as their mother hung wet clothes on the clothesline, with wind resistant clothespins, outside the dining room window, while talking to the landlord below, who occupied the main level, finished basement, and the rest of the property line. 

The pushing and shoving of the three of them resulted in a crash so loud it seemed like the upstairs apartment floor and the landlord’s ceiling below was damaged. After careful inspection and a lot of drama, it wasn’t. It was quite the mess. At least the adults realized this one was on them, no punishment was warranted. A rare moment.

Thomas in general, like many others in our community, had a difficult childhood, and life became even more unmanageable as he entered his teenage years and adulthood. After Thomas’s medically disabled 3-tour Vietnam Veteran Agent Orange exposed father passed away prematurely at the age of 44, everything went downhill from there. 

Thomas suffered from severe depression, anxiety, night-terrors, and complex PTSD, among other conditions. Thomas struggled to cope with these complex issues until his death, which is why he died amongst chosen family, instead of those he grew up with. Many, but not all, family, friends, neighbors, loved ones, and employers had to say goodbye to him long ago, but some still checked in on him regularly and helped when they could, and the best they could, leading up to his passing. 

Those who witnessed his passing stayed and cared for him respectfully leading up to first responders arriving. The family is very thankful for the kindness of everyone who stayed with Thomas during and after his passing, with some even providing Last Rites before he was taken away, because they happened to be passing by at the time of this occurrence. 

As a side note, Thomas was so concerned earlier that day with losing his belt while wearing sports shorts on the hot June day he pass away, he had tied/strapped his belt around his chest under his shirt so once he had pants again with belt loops, he would still have his belt close by. This confused those that cared for Thomas during and after his passing, but after the fact we learned why he was wearing it under his shirt, and additionally anyone who knows our family well enough understands the historical significance of him passing away with a belt/strap around his chest.The irony and symbolism is astounding. 

This obituary is for those that know our complicated family, and for those who knew Thomas completely. The good, the complicated, the bad and awful, and the heartbreaking, from childhood to his passing. To cope and make sense of the present, we must remember and acknowledge the past, no matter how complicated and messy it may be. 

No excuses, just reasons. No all reasons are weighted the same. Not everything is forgivable. We are empathetic and understanding of those who are still struggling with anger, frustration, and apathy. We recognize and acknowledge your pain, as we do our own. We hold you in our hearts as well, now and forever. Now we say our final goodbye to Thomas, just for now. 

“Thomas, peace be with you on your journey. You are loved. You are missed. Life was definitely interesting and unexpected with you in it, in those earlier years. Summer Camp beach days are scarred in our memories. All those jellyfish and not one sting. Others were not so lucky. Natural intuition and instincts are part of who we are. Your sister will always remember the times she made animal shadow-puppets with you on the bedroom wall across from the night-light, late at night to pass the time in the darkness. Peace be with you always, and remember to always follow the light, no matter how dark it may become.”

Thomas was preceded in death by his father, his father’s older brother and older sister Diane, his grandparents and great-grandparents, cousin Anthony Votto, cousin Dennis Mazza Jr., uncle Thomas Muzio, aunt Denise Hotchkiss, and cousin “Little John” Farrone.

Thomas was cremated with most of his ashes and urn going to his older brother, and a small portion sent to his mother. Thomas did not have a funeral or mass service due to his unexpected death, and his family spread across the country. Thank you to those who reached out.