Jill Kathleen McFadden

Jill Kathleen McFadden died on Saturday, June 22, 2024.  She leaves behind a life well-lived and much-loved, legions of friends, and her partner/wife of 33 years, Anne Tapp.  A celebration of Jill’s life will be held at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder, 5001 Pennsylvania Avenue, on Saturday, July 6th, at 1pm. A reception will follow. 

Jill’s mother Barbara McFadden passed away in 2016, and she is survived by her father and his partner, Ralph McFadden and Keo Xayavongvane; her brother Joel McFadden, his wife Laura, and her niece Emma.  Jill and Anne’s lives were deeply intertwined, and Jill was greatly loved by Anne’s mother, Barbara Tapp, who died in 2021.  She was an integral part of the Tapp Clan, including Anne’s father Bob Tapp, and Anne’s siblings and their partners, including Marie Tapp and Denise Signs, Rob and Debbie Tapp, Michael and Betsy Tapp, Ken Tapp and Lonnie Klaess, Susan (Tapp) and Jim McDonald, and Steve and Mary Jean Tapp. She was also a beloved Aunt Jill to her 16 Tapp family nieces and nephews.

One of the themes to Jill’s life was her passion and joy for learning and experiencing new things, and at every opportunity she built community and made lasting friendships.  Born on February 3, 1961, in West Lafayette, Indiana, Jill’s father was a pastor in the Church of the Brethren, and her mom was the church organist.  Jill and her brother Joel grew up as classic “Pastor’s Kids”, and the family moved from Indiana to Maryland and then to Elgin, Illinois, supporting their father’s pastoral mission.  Always active in church and school choirs, it was in Elgin that Jill developed her love for musical theater, performing in classics like “Fiddler on the Roof”, “Oklahoma”, and “South Pacific”.  She had a tight knit group of “theater geek” friends in high school, many of whom are still a part of Jill’s community more than 40 years later.

Jill found her life’s work in identifying, understanding, and responding to inequities and injustice. She earned a BA in Special Education from Illinois State University (ISU) and completed her Masters in Counseling Education at Western Illinois University.  While completing her undergrad degree at ISU she resided in Barton Hall, forming friendships with a group of women, the Barton Babes as they called themselves, who are still connected to Jill years later, another example of the powerful bonds of love and community she built wherever she went.

In 1991, while working towards her Masters, Jill did a counseling internship at the Gateway Shelter for survivors of domestic violence.  It was there that she met Anne, the love of her life, who was then the Children’s Counselor at Gateway.  From their first encounters the two recognized the special, precious connection that they shared, and they quickly became inseparable. On December 12, 1998, Anne and Jill held a Commitment Ceremony, and with the Supreme Court decision upholding marriage equality in 2015, they became legally wed.

Professionally, Jill supported adults and children who are survivors of violence and sex assault and people experiencing mental and behavioral health challenges. Jill served as Executive Director at Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault and at Alternatives for Family Violence and was the Director of Non-Residential Programs at the Gateway Shelter for survivors of domestic violence.  Her decades of service included working for Mental Health Partners, Moving to End Sexual Assault, the Jeffco Children’s Alliance, and the Colorado Division of Criminal Justice.  From 2018 through the end of her life, Jill worked as Director of Operations and Program Performance at Front Range Health Partners, a non-profit supporting mental and behavioral health care providers.  She excelled in all her professional endeavors and throughout her career forged deep friendships.

Jill also worked to make the world a better, safer, more inclusive place through her volunteer work. She ran for Boulder’s City Council in 2005 and served on the City of Boulder’s Human Relations Commission and their Human Services Fund distribution committee.  She was on the Board of Directors of the Denver Center for Crime Victims and served on two state taskforces appointed by the Governor.

Jill was much more than the contents of her resume, with a bright and busy brain that made her a life-long learner.  She had played a little golf here and there, but in 2005 Jill attended the Women’s Open at Cherry Hills and something just clicked, and golf became her passion.  She approached mastering her golf game with the same focus and thoughtfulness that she brought to everything she did, and by 2013 she was a Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA) Class A Teaching Professional.  With support from Anne, Jill stepped away from her non-profit work in 2009 and worked as a golf pro for several years, giving lessons and working in the golf shop at Flatirons Golf Course in Boulder.  One of the highlights of Jill’s life was attending the 2017 U.S. Masters Tournament in Augusta, Georgia, arriving each day at dawn’s early light to secure a spot near the action.  Sergio Garcia won that year.

She ran marathons, took cooking classes, loved traveling, and she adored France.  For years Anne and Jill traveled to Paris for ten days at Thanksgiving; in the summer of 2008  their trip included Anne cycling a portion of the Tour de France route, with Jill driving the support vehicle. She loved music and could play the piano, guitar, and trombone.  Jill loved good food and fine wine and Champagne shared with friends, she loved laughter and being silly.  She loved her family, friends, and her sweet dog, Rylee. 

But most  of all, she loved Anne.   For 33 years they had the kind of relationship others envied, a love that lit up the room and warmed all but the hardest of hearts.  Theirs was a true partnership, with Jill supporting Anne and her 80-hour work weeks as Executive Director of Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence, just as Anne basked in the glow of Jill’s work accomplishments and passion for living.

Cancer came for Jill fast and hard, and she died seven months to the day from her diagnosis. She experienced her illness with the same grace, thoughtfulness, and openness that she brought to everything she did, and of course, gained friends and admirers among the doctors, nurses, and other caregivers at Kaiser Permanente’s Rock Creek Clinic and at Intermountain Health Good Samaritan Hospital.  There were tears and hugs from her care team when Jill left the hospital for the last time, a reflection of the impact Jill had on people as well as the compassionate care she received.

There is never enough time with the people we love.  As the many people who love Jill learn to live in a world without her in it, we find some relief from our sadness by celebrating Jill’s light, laughter, kindness, and love.  In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to your preferred charity that supports survivors of violence and sex assault, and organizations advocating for and supporting LGBTQ people.