John Gregory Carlson

It is with heavy hearts that the family of John Gregory Carlson – Jac to most who knew him – announce that he passed away gently in his sleep early in the morning on Monday, November 18, 2024. While his death is a source of deep sadness, he lived his final years with a level of compassion, honesty, humility, and care that brought great comfort to his most beloved and befitted a man who passionately sought happiness and wisdom throughout his life.

One of Jac’s gifts to his family and friends in his final years was the penning of most of a memoir – Stories of a Partially Illuminated Life – that chronicles his history and core memories. Through his reminisces emerges a picture of a life lived with eager curiosity and empathetic observation, as well as a penchant for (mostly well calculated) risk taking.

Whether he was embarking at breakneck speed with his older brother, Keith, on a poorly-calibrated joint sled ride straight into a snow drift; inadvertently destroying his younger brother, Craig’s, aluminum ‘flying saucer’ in a shower of sparks while being towed behind his best friend’s car in an only-partly-snow-covered carpark; or emulating Elvis on stage at the tenth-grade talent show to win the affections of a cute classmate, Jac as a boy and teen was always on the lookout for the kind of joy and genuine human connection that comes with the brave, whole-hearted pursuit of fun.

While enjoyment of the happy life was a guiding principle for Jac, as he matured, he tempered frivolity-seeking with pragmatic academic focus, taking seriously the admonition of his Swedish grandfather to, “Get an education, JG.” Dedication to continual life-long learning led not only to a PhD in psychology and a lengthy, successful academic career at the University of Hawai’i, but underpinned all of Jac’s interests and interactions. He was forever a student whether he was in a classroom or out, learning to play the guitar, meditate, build a boat, build a car, write a book, sail a yacht, and repair or renovate practically anything in his houses. He read avidly – fiction and non – to better understand the world and the human condition, took immense pleasure in discussing big ideas and taking deep emotional dives, and practiced truly active listening with his clients, friends, and loved ones, especially in his later years.

Jac recognized his need to manage his active mind through conscientiousness and control of his external environment. Those who lived with him knew that you were disorderly at your own risk, at times finding a messy dresser covered pointedly with a towel. The homes he shared with his adored wife, Betty, were always charmingly appointed and scrupulously tidy, light-filled and decorated with bright, original artwork chosen with care. He loved to find beautiful, uncommon pieces of jewelry for Betty and had an impressive array of colorful aloha shirts from his years in Hawai’i and many handsome bolo ties.

In short, he was a person who sincerely loved the good life in all of the very best senses of the phrase – joy, family, laughter, friends, knowledge, serenity, and beauty. As he wrote in his memoirs, “the real essence of life to be ‘worshipped’ is the spirit of life itself.” As a self-professed “spiritual” though not religious person, Jac asked that he be remembered by friends and family in a celebration of his life.

Jac is survived by his wife, Betty; his three children and their spouses, Wende and Brian, Jared and Lucy, Sarah and Alan; seven grandchildren, Ben, Sam, Waverly, Torin, Pierce, Haven, and Saffron; and two brothers, Keith and Craig, and their families.

A celebration of life and the scattering of Jac’s ashes will be held in March 2025. In lieu of flowers, gifts may be made to the Community Food Bank of Southern Arizona.