Deborah Simmons

This obituary is the personal account of Deborah Kay (Wanous) Simmons of Longmont, Colorado – this is my background, including the family, friends and passions that fulfilled my life. If you are reading this, I died from pancreatic cancer, yet I lived with it longer than most. I was diagnosed with this terminal illness in August of 2023. The many months I lived after diagnosis allowed me to prepare for the end of my life. While engaged in twice-monthly chemotherapy regimens over the course of 14 months, I still managed to visit family and friends, finish important projects and pass through those necessary medical, spiritual and emotional thresholds on the way to death. And this most curious of thresholds – writing my own obituary – came about as I hoped to spare my family one more administrative burden.

Despite the cancer, I was fully present as my only grandchild Emmett learned to crawl, run and speak his first words. Husband Wayne facilitated travel to beautiful national parks to nurture our souls. He also enabled my wish to be present one last time with cherished but faraway family and friends, even as the end was in sight.

In 1952, I was born the only child of Kay and Bud Wanous of Diablo, California. Until high school, I lived in Diablo, near Mt. Diablo State Park, with its hills for biking and rocks for climbing. I participated in country club swim and tennis teams. I adored music, taking voice and piano lessons.

After high school, I graduated Phi Beta Kappa with a BA from Indiana University in Counseling and Psychology, and then an MBA from Arizona State University in Organizational Development. Thirty years later I received an MS in Addiction Counseling from Grand Canyon University and studied therapeutic approaches in lieu of prison.

I enjoyed two distinctly different careers outside of the home. My first 20-year career began in San Francisco, followed by a time in Houston, Texas, where I led sales proposal teams for Fluor, Bechtel and other engineering and construction companies. Later I was the National Program Director for the American Leadership Forum. I ended my fulltime career as a feedback coach at the Center for Creative Leadership in San Diego.

By the mid-1980’s I feared I would never find the right life partner. Especially after reading an in-depth article in Newsweek which reported dismal chances for the single, white and educated woman in her thirties. And yet, at age 35, I met and married Wayne Simmons, the man of my dreams. I would be blessed in this marriage as Wayne fully supported me in sickness and in health. After we had two children, and I became an older mom at age 37 and 39, we moved from San Diego to Dublin, Ohio. The following 18 years were about

Wayne’s career. I adjusted to fulltime motherhood by lending my talents to several non-profit boards, which launched my second career as a volunteer.

In early 2000, I supported women in prison at the West Central Correctional Facility in Marysville, Ohio. After hearing the stories of incarcerated women over many years, I developed a true passion to support these women on their journeys, both within the prison system and beyond. My own journey included treatment for alcoholism in an outpatient program where I faced the same shame and memories of trauma that these women experienced. I realized that my privilege allowed me access to the best therapy, trauma and addiction treatments. The women I befriended in prisons did not have such advantages. This stirred me to enroll in a graduate program focused on addiction counseling where I learned, and later applied, the best approaches for recovering from trauma and addiction.

As Wayne's career evolved, we moved to Longmont, Colorado in 2011. After volunteering at the Boulder County Jail and serving as a mentor, I decided to start a nonprofit reentry service in Boulder County for women coming out of prison. Wayne's career as CEO of three companies provided the leadership experience our startup team needed. The Reentry Initiative (TRI) was founded in 2016.

TRI’s fledging start began with a single employee, a small office and volunteer mentors teaching an 8-month program in the Denver Women's Correctional Facility. At this writing, TRI has 8 employees, a Welcome Back Center offering all the basic needs of newly released men and women, plus a Wellness Center providing mental health support. My dream to help incarcerated women came to pass and grew to include incarcerated men as well. TRI was the capstone of my life, and the culmination of my life’s work.

I have been blessed in my life to be surrounded by my devoted husband, and I am honored to be the mother of my beautiful children, Chris and Carolyn. I have cherished every moment of becoming a grandmother. They have all had a tremendous impact in my life influencing the bounty of growth with which I have been blessed, emboldening my capacity to love and fueling my inspiration to live fully

Many deep friendships have filled my heart and fueled me for my final journey. CaringBridge friends and people from every corner of my life came alongside me throughout my illness. And to each of you, I want to say: You have blessed me more than you’ll ever know.

Intertwined with these valuable relationships are the experiences we enjoyed together, the beauty of this world that I will miss. Times like winter trips to Sedona, Arizona, with its striking red rock scenery. Music performances high in the mountains of Colorado. Creating art alongside those I loved in the Sisterhood Studio, and in other art spaces. Entertaining friends in my home and making the dining table their visual delight.

With death's approach, I commend these verses from Psalm 116:1-2 (NIV) for their comfort: "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live."

Immediate family/ survivors include husband Wayne Simmons, son Christopher Simmons (Columbus, OH), daughter Carolyn Stillman (Longmont, CO), son-in-law Dave Stillman, and 2-year-old grandson Emmett Stillman.