Bad B Buni

It is with heavy hearts and suspicious glances that we announce the untimely passing of Bad Buni, a beloved office desk ornament, fierce guardian of post-it notes, and bringer of chaos and charm in equal measure.

Bad Buni was more than just a ceramic figure with an attitude. With her hairbows, tear shaped prison tat, and mischievous smirk she brought levity, sass, and a surprising amount of wisdom to our workdays. A silent confidant and occasional scapegoat, Bad Buni saw it all—missed deadlines, questionable lunch choices, and that one time the toaster oven caught fire. Through it all, she remained perched on the desk, unbothered, unimpressed, and unwavering.

Tragically, on an afternoon in August, Bad Buni met her demise in what authorities are calling a “suspicious and unnecessary desk-cleaning incident.” While the exact circumstances remain under investigation, reports confirm that she suffered a fatal fall during an “accidental” elbow sweep. Some call it murder. We call it betrayal.

Bad Buni is survived by a tangle of paperclips, some 50 other squishy animal toys, and a butt massaging chair with a cord too short to use. She leaves behind a legacy of sarcasm, resilience, and low-level passive aggression. She will be deeply missed every time we glance at the empty corner of the desk where she once reigned.

A memorial service will be held Friday at 3 PM by the office microwave. Mourners are encouraged to wear black, speak in monotone, and bring snacks. In lieu of flowers, please send screenshots of patients reviews that aren't even about our clinc—her favorite form of comedy.

Rest in power, Bad Buni. May your spirit continue to judge us from the great office in the sky.

🖤🐇