Esther Alvena Warner

As I sat beside her bed and watched my mom sleep the last days of her life, I took comfort in knowing she was lost in a dream-world instead of plagued by her difficult realityI too was lost in a world of dreams wishing shed never leave, but knowing she would have to soon. Dreams that brought me back to the imaginary games we played when I was a child, lessons learned, I loves yous exchanged, her beaming pride and our best friendship. We are gathered here today in the memory of my mother, Esther Warner Sandy to all who knew her. Were together so we may acknowledge and share both our joy in the gift that was her life, and the pain that her passing brings. In sharing the joy and the pain together today, may we lessen the pain and remember more clearly the joy that was my mom. Sandy is survived by myself, her grandchildren, and her little great grandson, Jayce, as well as other relatives and friends. Her family, and her role as the mother, grandmother and teacher, was the most important thing to her. It is where she drew her strength and left her legacy. Her life had many obstacles, yet through it all, her love and caring for us all remained her focus and gave her the strength to persevere. My mom was 89 years young when she passed in the afternoon of Tuesday, October 11th. Its hard to say goodbye. I wish that we had more time, and perhaps that during the time we had, we had spent more of it together. I wish things could have been different for her, and for us all. While we know that she is at peace and that her struggles with her heart, arthritis and cancer have ended, there is still an emptiness filledpain and sadness. But even though she is gone, she has left the legacy of her love and perseverance in us all. The ways she touched all our lives will remain, and I ask you to keep those memories alive by sharing them often with others. When I was little boy, my mother and I played a game often before I went to sleep. The rules were simple. We would take turns saying that we loved each other more than something. For example, she would say, I love you more than a ball. And then it was my turn. Id return the sentiment by saying that I loved her more than something larger. I love you more than the house. And so on. We would continue in thisvein until the game was over by one of us saying the magic words, Well, I love you more than infinity! When the game was over, Shed tuck me in, kiss me goodnight, and I would fall asleep in the warmth of her love. I felt safe, I felt warm, I felt unconditionally loved.What I didnt realize at the time was that my mother was teaching me about shapes and sizes and how to use my imagination. The game was about learning to comprehend the magnitude of my mothers feelings for me, as much as it was about being together and laughing about the funny things wed come up withI love you more than anelephant. Well, then I love you more than a whole zoo, mom!.And so forth. My mom was a genius at finding ways to teach and make me enjoy things that would unknowingly teach me valuable lessons and important skills for life. She taught me kindness and generosity and to embrace difference and patience. That was her gift. It was a blessing that she touched so many people with She knew how to make learning fun and her students a success it was something that she perfected over her 45-year career as an elementary school teacher. As an elementary school teacher, she took pride in opening the minds of every one of youngstudents to the potential they held within themselves but her teaching didnt stop when the bell rang at the end of the day. It didnt stop with just children, either. Teaching was her life and her passion. Teaching was her gift to the world. There were untold adults and children with learning disabilities that she often taught on her own time before or after school. I remember the old janitor at her school. He was a older man that couldnt read or do math, but wanted to learn. He was a gentle old man that my mom spent countless hours, over a couple year period, patiently teaching and opening his world up through the stories he read. Her goal was to make everyone she taught a success and she did. Over the years I experienced and heard many stories like this and never quite realized the impact she had on so many people until she retired. At her retirement, I met many families that my mother had taught not only the child, and their mother, but their grandmother and aunts as well. In fact, there were many families that she had taught two and three generations of their family members. How incredibly strong was she? Did I know anyone stronger? She never gave up; she put her entire being into everything she did from raising and providing for us to teaching and making the worlds of all she touched a better place. When my mother was sick, she seemed to be more concerned about how her illness impacted the boys and I. She never wanted to be a burden to us or anyone else. I continually tried to convince her that her lessons had already been taught and the wisdom imparted on us all and wed be OK. But she continued to worry and concern herself mostly with how wed handle this, I thinkhow wed move forward after our loss and the toll it would take and the tears we would cry. But that was our mom Caring more about us more than herself. Over the last years of her life, she fought everything from heart issues and arthritis to cancer. She took every one of her challenges as she taught us to head on and without mercy. She beat everything life threw at her until she hit a wall she couldnt climb. But even with that, my mother always said to me,its amazing how strong you can be when you have no other choice. And mom, you were the strongest woman I ever have known. There are really no words to describe my closeness with my mother. I know this because the slow, agonizing decline of the diseases forced even the most optimistic and hopeful ofthoughts to turn to the reality and plan for this day. Itleaves one thinking about what to say during a time like this. And after unsuccessfully putting pen to paper several times, I realized that there really are no words. There are only feelings, indescribable feelings. Feelings that make your heart burst and your whole being melt. Because my mother was my heart... My confidence. My bravery and my strength, my heart burst and melted the day she left. She was everything. She was our Teacher, our mother and our grandmother and after my father left she was even my father, as well, and did everything in her power to always teach, protect and love us. If I had to conjure up one life lesson that she would want us all to carry thought-out our lives, it would be this: Humbly seek advice from others, but always trust and believe in yourself.She believed in me, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. As I sat beside her the last days, I saw a woman who gave everything to life and her family, right down to her last breath whereshe used her very last bit of energy to tell me one finaltime I love you Thank you for everything you taught us.We miss you so much and will always trust and believe in ourselves. Because of you,mom, we will be OK And for the record mom well. I love you more than infinity.