Coping with Child Loss: Funeral and Grief Support

Navigating Funeral Planning After the Loss of a Child

The death of a child of any age, whether through stillbirth, miscarriage, or infant loss, is an unimaginable heartbreak. Amidst the grief, families often face the daunting task of planning a funeral or memorial service while seeking support for their emotional well-being. This guide offers practical advice and compassionate resources to help you navigate this difficult journey.​

How to Honor a Stillborn, Lost Infant, or Child

Making the Decision to Hold a Memorial or Funeral

When a baby dies before or shortly after birth, some families feel unsure about whether they “should” hold a service. It’s important to know there’s no rulebook — some parents plan a full funeral or memorial, while others choose a private moment of remembrance. 

If you're in a hospital, you may have the option to spend time with your baby, dress them, take photos, or create hand and footprints. These early choices can be part of your farewell and help shape the type of memorial that feels right for you.

There’s no expiration date on holding a memorial. If you didn’t feel ready at first, it’s never too late to have a ceremony later — on a birthday, anniversary, or another meaningful date.

Types of Services You Can Hold

Memorials or funerals can be traditional or completely personal. Some families hold religious or spiritual services led by clergy. Others host informal gatherings at home, in a garden, or at a meaningful location. Here are a few formats you might consider:

• Private service: With only close family, focusing on intimate connection and remembrance.
• Celebration of life: A more upbeat or creative way to honor your baby’s memory.
• Graveside service or cremation ceremony: Offering a place of focus for grief and remembrance.
• Virtual service: An option for including loved ones who live far away.

What matters most is that the service reflects your family’s values, grief, and love.

Personal Touches and Keepsakes

Memorial services can be deeply personal and healing. You might include readings, poems, or music that hold significance. Some families create memory tables with ultrasound images, a blanket or onesie, or handwritten letters. Others light candles, plant trees, or release butterflies or balloons as part of the ceremony.

Keepsake items, such as memory boxes and personalized jewelry, like this tender memorial necklace, can help preserve your child’s presence in your life. These tangible reminders often bring comfort over time.

Including Family and Siblings

If you have other children, involving them gently in the ceremony can help them understand what’s happening and feel included in the grieving process. You might invite them to read a poem, help plant a tree, draw a picture, or place flowers or a special keepsake at the memorial site.

When planning a funeral for an older child, consider sharing their young passions, dreams, and personality in a eulogy and take advantage of the healing powers of sharing stories. If you're supporting a grieving parent, we have advice on how to help.

Burial and Cremation

Families may choose to bury their baby in a private plot, a shared infant section of a cemetery, or at a family burial site. Cremation is another option, and some families choose to keep ashes in a special urn, scatter them in a meaningful place, or incorporate them into keepsake items. Check with your local funeral home — many offer low-cost or free services for stillbirth or infant loss.

Honoring a Child’s Memory Over Time

Even after the service, finding ways to honor your child can help keep their memory alive. Some parents mark the anniversary of their baby’s due date or birthday with small rituals — lighting a candle, writing a letter, or taking part in remembrance events during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in October.

Grief Support for Parents

Online Forums and Communities

​If you're seeking online communities for miscarriage and pregnancy loss support, there are compassionate forums you can visit:​

• Mumsnet offers a UK-based platform where parents discuss topics from recurrent miscarriages to coping with others' pregnancies after a loss.​
• What to Expect hosts a miscarriage support forum with thousands of members, providing a space for shared experiences and advice.​

These forums offer understanding communities where individuals can connect, share, and find solace during challenging times.

Support Organizations for Child, Pregnancy, and Infant Loss

Here are several trusted organizations that provide resources, peer support, and remembrance opportunities:

• Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support: Offers support groups, memorial events, and educational materials for grieving families.
• Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep: Provides free professional remembrance photography for families experiencing infant loss.
• Return to Zero: H.O.P.E.: Offers virtual support groups, healing retreats, and online resources for bereaved parents.
• The Compassionate Friends: Supports those grieving the death of a child of any age with local chapters and online communities.
• First Candle: Offers a 24/7 grief support line and raises awareness around SIDS and stillbirth.
• MISS Foundation: Provides peer support, therapy referrals, and advocacy for families who have experienced a child’s death.

No ‘Right Way’ to Grieve Child Loss

There is no “right” way to grieve the loss of a child. Some parents find comfort in creating a memorial, while others find comfort in simply sitting with their sorrow. Whether you choose a formal funeral or a quiet personal ritual, your love is real and worthy of acknowledgment. You don’t have to walk through this alone — support, community, and healing are available to you.

Learn how some parents and others memorialize lost loved ones with a tattoo or by creating a memory quilt. We can help you find a sympathy gift after the loss of a daughter or the loss of a son, and learn why a timeout can help during grief.

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