Likes, Shares, and Loss: How Social Media is Changing the Way We Mourn

Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience. Traditionally, mourning was a private affair shared within close-knit communities. However, with hundreds of millions of users, social media is changing how we mourn. These new digital spaces can provide connection, comfort, and memorialization in a matter of hours. Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok have permanently impacted the grieving process. But do social media “likes” and “shares” help someone who lost a loved one? 

Social Media and Grief Grieving: Building a Virtual Community

In today’s digital age, social media has become integral to how we connect and communicate. When a loved one passes away, individuals often go online to share their grief. There are benefits to this instant, global communication: 

• It’s quick to notify friends and family about a loss and receive condolences and support in real-time.
• It allows people to connect with others who have experienced similar losses, reducing feelings of isolation.
• Creates ongoing memorialization through posts and shared memories, which keeps an individual’s legacy alive.  

Online obituaries also allow family and friends to share thoughts and support. They often contain information about an upcoming funeral and links to purchasing sympathy gifts and memorial items. 

Personal Stories: Healing Through Online Sharing

Many have found solace in sharing their grief on social media. Here are a few personal accounts that highlight the healing power of these platforms (we’ve removed the names for privacy). 

A Father’s Legacy

“When my father passed away, I felt completely lost during the funeral planning. But after sharing his obituary on Facebook, I was overwhelmed by the support and stories shared by friends and even acquaintances. It reminded me that his influence extended far beyond our immediate family, helping me cope with the loss.”

Honoring a Passion 

“After my aunt’s passing, we wanted to honor her love for animals. By posting about it on social media and setting up a memorial donation link, we raised thousands for her favorite Milwaukee animal shelter. Knowing that her legacy would continue through these donations brought us immense comfort.”

How Social Media Preserves Memories

Social media has evolved into a powerful tool for memorialization, offering a space where the memory of the deceased can live on. Virtual memory walls and designated memorial accounts allow loved ones to share and support each other. These digital spaces serve as a modern extension of the grief journey, providing a sense of continuity and connection that can be revisited at any time.

Facebook Memorial Accounts

Facebook allows users to designate their accounts as memorials after they pass away, or they can name a representative to do so. (Designating someone to maintain your social media accounts after death is crucial in digital estate planning.) Once memorialized, the account remains visible, and friends and family can continue to post messages, share memories, and celebrate the deceased’s life. These accounts are marked as memorials and can be managed by a legacy contact, a person chosen by the account holder before their passing to maintain the account.

Instagram Tribute Accounts

Instagram offers a similar memorialization feature. When an account is memorialized, "Remembering" appears next to the person's name. Memorialized accounts are a space for loved ones to share photos, videos, and memories of the deceased. Like Facebook, Instagram also allows users to designate a legacy contact to manage the account after death.

LinkedIn Memorials

LinkedIn allows family members or authorized representatives to request the removal of an account after death. While LinkedIn is a professional network, some users find it meaningful to leave the profile active as a testament to the deceased’s career achievements and professional relationships.

Tips for Using Hashtags in Digital Memorials

Hashtags can play a significant role in the digital memorialization process. Here are suggestions for using them to increase the visibility of a loved one’s online memorial. 

• Encourage friends and family to use a specific hashtag when posting about the deceased. This helps consolidate memories and tributes across various posts, making them easy to find and revisit. For example, hashtags like #Remembering[Name] or #InLovingMemory[Name] are commonly used.
• Consider using hashtags that reflect the deceased’s passions or causes they supported. For instance, if they were passionate about animal rescue, a hashtag like #Remembering[Name]ForAnimals could encourage donations or awareness in their honor.

Balancing Online and Offline Grief

While social media offers a supportive community and a space for remembrance, it’s essential to balance online activities with traditional mourning practices. In-person gatherings, such as funerals and memorial services, are crucial in the grieving process. These rituals offer a tangible way to honor the deceased and allow for the personal connection essential for healing. Grief experts also recommend taking time for yourself, whether curled up on the sofa with a favorite podcast or book or in nature. 

Humans Need Connection IRL (In Real Life)

Research shows face-to-face interactions are critical for emotional well-being, especially during grief. A 2019 study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that individuals who received in-person social support during bereavement reported lower levels of anxiety and depression compared to those who primarily relied on online interactions.

The simple act of being physically present with others who share your grief can be profoundly comforting. Hugs, handshakes, and shared tears create a sense of solidarity that online platforms cannot fully capture. 

Rituals Help Us Find Closure

Traditional mourning practices, such as funerals and memorial services, provide a structured environment where grieving individuals can express their emotions and find closure. These rituals offer an opportunity to say goodbye meaningfully, which can be difficult to replicate through digital means.

Full Range of Emotional Expression 

In-person grieving allows the full range of human emotions to be expressed openly and authentically. This can be especially important for individuals who may feel uncomfortable sharing their grief online or worry about how their feelings will be perceived on social media.

Gathering with family and friends to mourn collectively can create a shared experience, helping individuals feel less alone. This communal support fosters a sense of belonging and connection that can be healing during loss.

Embracing Social Media’s Role in Modern Grieving

As social media continues evolving, its role in grieving becomes increasingly significant. These platforms provide a space for connection, healing, and memorialization that complements traditional mourning practices. By finding a balance between online and offline grieving, individuals can navigate their loss in a way that honors both the deceased and their own emotional needs. Click here to explore more helpful resources for coping with loss.