6 Questions to Ask Your Loved One About After-Life Planning

It’s not easy to talk to loved ones about making an after-life plan. When you’re ready to have 'the talk,' it can be helpful to plan ahead by creating an outline with your goals for the meeting and what you plan to ask.

Write down your loved one’s hopes and wishes as well as thoughts concerning end-of-life medical care, financial and legal paperwork, and their end-of-life wishes for planning a funeral or celebration-of-life. You can also use these six prompts to create your own plan.

Here are six questions to kick off conversations about death:

1. Have You Filled Out Paperwork for Power of Attorney or Health Care Power of Attorney?

Power of Attorney (POA) is a document that allows a designated person to make legal decisions for you if you become unable to make them yourself. It’s incredibly important to have a POA or health care power of attorney when your loved one’s health is deteriorating or if they are experiencing Alzheimer’s Disease, dementia, or other cognitive disorders.

2. Do You Have a Will?

Only 32 percent of adults have a will or living trust, according to a 2020 Trust & Will study. For adults with children under 18 – only 36%. If your loved one does not have a will, help them meet with an attorney to create one. You can also create a will online using services like LegalZoom or Rocket Lawyer, among dozens of other similar services. Keep your will secure at your lawyer’s office or by using a safety deposit box or fireproof safe.

3. Have You Organized Financial Information?

Ask your loved one to keep their financial information in a secure place. They should include sources of income and liabilities, accounts receivable, bank accounts, real estate, assets, securities, and personal property. This document should be safely placed away and only accessed in the event of your loved one’s death.

4. What Would You Like to Do With Social Media and Online Accounts?

From photo collections to music downloads and social media accounts, we all take up a lot of personal space online. Ask your loved ones if they would like their accounts deactivated or left alone when they die. Help your loved ones plan for their digital afterlife and create a list of their online accounts and passwords. When the time comes, everyone will have peace of mind.

5. Who Will Take Care of Your Pets?

Ask your loved ones who they would like to take care of their pets. Write down their plan for their pets and other possessions. Once they identify a caretaker, it’s essential to discuss and document their plan for the pets' ongoing care, including preferences for food, medical care, and routine.

6. How Would You Like to be Celebrated?

Ask your loved one if they’d like to be buried or cremated and if they would like to be celebrated in a specific way. Are there passages they’d like read at a celebration-of-life gathering or formal funeral? Would they like their ashes to be scattered in a special place? Do they have a favorite song, sports team, or hobby they’d like incorporated into their memorial? Asking about this now ensures your loved one’s wishes will be honored after death.

Though it’s impossible to prepare for everything, preplanning your funeral services will ease the anxiety of what is to come. Making choices now gives you time to celebrate your loved one and their memories after they pass instead of agonizing over tough decisions.

Resources

For more help in holding these sometimes difficult conversations or putting together your own end-of-life plans, you can find resources here at Afterall and on the Conversation Project website, planning site Cake, this MindBodyGreen article, and the AARP website.