How Communities Mourn, Heal Together

Sadly, there are many occasions when tragedy strikes, bringing a community together in mourning. Whether it is the community of ice skaters who mourned those lost in the tragic January crash of American Eagle Flight 5342, Californians affected by wildfires, or the many heartbreaking and all-too-frequent school shootings, news headlines are full of reasons why people may experience collective grief.

Grief as a Collective Experience

According to the TalkDeath website, “Community, or collective grief, is the umbrella term for the grief that is felt by a community, society, village, or nation in the wake of an event such as a war, natural disaster, act of terrorism, or the death of a public figure.” The site goes on to explain that in many cultures, “grief is seen as a collective experience, expressed through community rituals and verbal declarations.”

Even in today’s increasingly disconnected, isolated American society, many rituals can help foster healing within a community.

Examples of how communities can come together in grief rituals include:

• Candlelight vigils
• The creation of public memorials
• Lowering of flags
• Turning off lights on iconic buildings

These actions provide a shared context for grief, allowing people to express emotions such as anger, frustration, and sadness, the TalkDeath authors explain.

Mental Health and Collective Grief

Collective grief and trauma can leave individuals feeling unmoored. According to Psychology Today, several emotional and psychological effects and feelings can arise, including:

• A loss of connection
• Heightened anxiety
• Difficulty rebuilding trust
• Grief for the larger community

But, while these challenges are significant, experts suggest that certain actions may help. By taking “micro-actions” — manageable, tangible steps — individuals can regain a sense of control and find a path forward.

The author suggests these steps to cope with collective grief and trauma:

• Pause and Breathe: This simple act can calm your nervous system and help you be grounded in the moment.
• Concentrate on One Small Task: Make a cup of tea or write in your journal to create a sense of accomplishment.
• Connect with Someone: Connection can be healing. Take time to be with a friend, neighbor, or family member.
• Take Part in a Ritual: Light a candle, write a note to someone you’ve lost, or say a prayer. It can give you structure and meaning in times of loss.
• Allow Yourself to Grieve: There is no right way to grieve. Allow yourself to cry, rest, and allow yourself to feel the weight of what you’ve lost.

The opioid epidemic is another example of a situation that has left a collective grief in its wake. And it goes without saying that the COVID pandemic was another source of collective grief worldwide. In both examples, the shared experiences open opportunities to understand one another and grieve together.

How Community Grief Can Inspire Change

According to this article in Popular Science, there is also an opportunity in tragedy to fight for change. One example they cite is the founding of the organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) in 1980. The mother of a girl killed by a drunk driver used her photo and story to fight for change and raise awareness. The mission helped her find meaning and improve the lives of others.

In another example, the movement to leave white bikes at the scene of fatal bike accidents (“ghost bikes”) is a somber reminder of the tragedies that killed cyclists and a tangible symbol of their right to safe travel. The movement began in 2003 in St. Louis, Missouri, and has spread across the world. This, too, is an example of how tragedy can create grief but also inspire change.

How Gratitude and Connection Can Help

Finding gratitude can be a healing force even in the aftermath of tragedy. Neighbors who come together to support each other, the kindness of strangers, and the small stories of good deeds, all help create a narrative that can help promote healing. But if you are experiencing collective grief or depression, consider volunteering, reaching out for connection, joining a support group, or finding professional counseling. 

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