What Is a Repast After a Funeral?

After a funeral, many families choose to gather for a repast. They use this time to share a meal, offer support, and remember the person who has died in a more relaxed setting. While not as formal as the service itself, a repast is still an essential part of saying goodbye.

You might have heard a repast referred to as a funeral reception. The word "repast" comes from the Latin repastus, meaning "to eat," and the tradition of breaking bread after a burial has deep roots in many cultures.

What Is a Funeral Repast?

A funeral repast is a post-service gathering where guests share food and memories. The family of the deceased often hosts it and typically includes anyone who attended the funeral; however, some are private and by invitation only.

Repasts are most commonly seen in Christian funeral traditions, especially in African American, Southern U.S., and Catholic communities. However, they are becoming more common across various faiths and regions. While the style may vary, the purpose is the same: to support one another and honor the life that was lived.

Who Has a Repast?

• Christian families often hold repasts, particularly after church funerals.
• Southern families may consider it a standard part of funeral customs.
• Northern and urban areas might call it a "reception" instead, but the concept is the same.
• Families from African American, Caribbean, or Catholic backgrounds often have strong repast traditions.

What Happens at a Funeral Repast?

The mood of a repast is typically more relaxed than a funeral or memorial service. It’s a time to talk, eat, and connect with others who are grieving. 

Choosing a Location

Most repasts happen immediately after the funeral. Common locations include:

• Church fellowship halls
• Funeral home reception rooms
• Community centers
• Restaurants or banquet halls
• A family member’s home (especially for smaller or more private gatherings)

Some venues are included in the funeral package; others may require additional rental fees.

Food and Drink Traditions

Food is a central part of the repast. Cultural or religious customs may influence the menu, but the goal is comfort, not formality.

The family might serve:

• A full catered meal
• Home-cooked dishes, potluck style
• The favorite foods of the person who passed
• Light refreshments, snacks, or finger foods

Conversation and Condolences

This is a time to:

• Offer condolences to the family in a personal, less structured way
• Share stories and memories
• Listen to others reflect on the life of the deceased

Common Customs

Depending on the family’s preferences or background, the repast may also include:

• Prayer or scripture reading
• Playing the loved one’s favorite music
• Tribute videos or memory boards
• Candle lighting or other symbolic rituals

It’s okay to ask the family or host if you're unsure about what’s appropriate.

How Much Does a Repast Cost?

A repast doesn’t have to be expensive. Many families can keep costs low with thoughtful planning.

Main Costs to Consider:

You don’t need to spend a lot to create a warm and respectful gathering. A simple repast with loved ones can be just as meaningful as an elaborate one.

• Venue rental – Free if hosted at home; $100 to $300 if renting space
• Food and drink – Varies depending on catering, takeout, or homemade options
• Decor – Simple framed photos, flowers, or tablecloths can be low-cost but meaningful

Ways to Reduce Costs

Many families have a budget for funeral expenses, including the repast. It’s not unseemly to look for ways to make the memorial more affordable. Here are a few suggestions:

• Ask for the funeral home’s General Price List (GPL) to compare packages
• Host at a family member’s home to avoid venue fees
• Choose a potluck-style meal or limit to light refreshments
• Skip professional decor and use personal photos or mementos

Funeral Repast Etiquette Tips

If you’ve been invited to a repast, keep these etiquette tips in mind:

• Follow the family’s lead. Respect the tone of the gathering. Some are quiet and somber, others are more celebratory.
• Dress appropriately. Stick with funeral-appropriate attire unless otherwise noted.
• Offer sincere condolences. A few kind words can go a long way for a grieving friend or family member.
• Don’t overstay. Unless you’re a close friend or family member, keep your visit brief.
• Bring a dish, if asked. Some families request food contributions for home-based repasts.
• Bring a sympathy gift. If you’re not asked to bring food, consider getting a fresh bouquet, personalized candle, or care package for after the funeral. 

Why a Repast Matters

While funerals honor a person’s passing, a repast helps celebrate how they lived. It provides a space for connection, comfort, and healing. Whether it's held in a church hall with catered food or around a family’s kitchen table with potluck dishes, the heart of the repast remains the same: coming together after loss.

Want to dive deeper into how food and grief interconnect? Read Food Writer Finds Recipe for Healing After Tragic Loss and Archivist Finds Joy in Baking Headstone Recipes. 

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