Why You Can’t Find an Obituary (and What to Do)

Obituaries are often the first place people look to learn more about someone’s life and death. They can reveal key information — names of parents, children, spouses, dates, and even details about careers and communities. But what happens when you can’t find one?

Whether you're searching for genealogy, preparing your own tribute, or trying to honor a friend or relative, this guide explains why obituaries can be hard to track down — and what you can do if there isn’t one.

Why You Might Not Find an Obituary

Here are the most common reasons why you cannot find an obituary for a loved one. 

1. An Obituary Was Never Written

Not everyone has an obituary. Some families choose not to write one, while others simply run out of time or energy during the stressful days after a loss. Some people even request that their obituary not be published.

2. It Wasn’t Posted Online

If your loved one died before digital archives were common, or if the obituary only appeared in print, it may not be available online. Try visiting a local library near where the death occurred and check newspaper archives by hand.

Helpful hint: If you don’t know the exact date of death, start by locating the cemetery or funeral home.

3. The Person’s Name Changed

Marriage, divorce, adoption, or legal name changes can make searching more difficult. Be sure to try multiple name variations, including maiden names or known nicknames.

4. The Name Is Too Common

If the person’s name was common (like John Smith), you may need to add extra search terms, such as a city, spouse’s name, or school, to narrow the results.

Why Someone Might Not Have an Obituary

Not everyone has an obituary. Here are the most common reasons why. 

Obituaries Aren’t Legally Required

Obituaries are not official records like death certificates. There’s no legal requirement to write or publish one.

Publishing Can Be Expensive

Newspapers often charge to publish obituaries, and the cost can be high, sometimes hundreds of dollars. Some families choose to skip the newspaper and only post a tribute on a funeral home website.

The Person Requested Privacy

Some people ask not to have an obituary for personal or religious reasons. Respecting this choice is a form of honoring their wishes.

It Wasn’t a Priority

In the rush of planning a funeral, contacting family, and managing legal tasks, writing an obituary can fall by the wayside. Even though most funeral homes offer help, families still need to provide the information.

The Family Wanted to Keep the Death Private

In rare cases, families may not want to publicly share details, especially if the circumstances were difficult or the death was sudden or violent. Publishing a public obituary could invite attention they’d rather avoid.

Death Notice vs. Obituary: What’s the Difference?

While the terms are often used interchangeably, death notices and obituaries aren’t the same.

A death notice is a brief announcement that someone has passed away. It usually includes the name, date of death, and details about the funeral or memorial service. 

An obituary goes deeper. It tells the story of a person’s life—their family, career, passions, and personality. Obituaries may also include photos, memories, or quotes.

Some people only have a death notice, especially if the family wanted to keep things simple or didn’t have time to write a full obituary.

What to Do If You Can’t Find an Obituary

Read on for tips on finding an elusive obit. 

Ask Relatives

Older family members may have printed copies, photos, or memorial programs tucked away. They may also share stories or help you piece together the timeline.

Search Local Newspaper Archives

Visit libraries or historical societies in the area where the person lived. Staff may help you search through microfilm or print archives. Collective obituary sources like Legacy make it easy to search by name, location, or newspaper. 

Write Your Own Tribute

If no obituary exists, you can write one yourself. Start with key facts:

• Full name
• Date of birth and death
• Family members
• Career and accomplishments
• Hobbies and interests
• What made them special

Writing an obituary might feel overwhelming during a time of loss. Use our free online obituary tool to get started and publish it on our website (you’ll need to make a free Afterall account).

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

• Be personal. Share what made them unique—quirks, passions, or special traditions.
• Keep it clear. Use short sentences and avoid complicated language.
• Include others. Mention family members, friends, and communities that mattered.
• End with gratitude. Thank caregivers, supporters, or organizations if appropriate.

Honoring a Life, Even Without an Obituary

Even if the obituary you’re searching for doesn’t exist, your effort to remember and honor a loved one matters. From planting a tree to sharing stories at a memorial, there are many ways to celebrate a life. To find other memorial suggestions, we recommend What’s Your Family Story and How Can it Shape Your Legacy?, Memorial Quilts Help Families Honor and Remember Lost Loved Ones, and Top 10 Remembrance Gifts to Honor Their Memory.